


Did the driver say go the other way and look for something better?

by Ghostie (superheld)



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: Alex and Willie being soft, Angst, Character Study, Chronic Pain, Ficlet, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, a lil backstory for willie, a literal vent fic, the author projects for 1 000 words gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-24 00:00:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30063561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superheld/pseuds/Ghostie
Summary: "Like awful black goo, the pain was spreading from his head down his neck, into his hands, his chest, his hipbone.It felt like, if he looked down, Willie would see dark red dripping from his fingers, leaking from his ears and building up in his eyes, clouding his vision like the pain was. His muscles sometimes twitched, almost as if there were tiny electric shocks attacking his nerves, challenging his reflexes (the reflexes that didn’t save him all those years ago).Like a burn mark, Willie could still feel the imprint of the impact that took him out, sent him straight into Caleb’s net with the taste of the bitter hot concrete still lingering on his tongue. "A Willie character study + willex, taking place sometime after s2, exploring a bit of Willie's backstory and his history with Caleb as well as some soft comfort from Alex
Relationships: Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Did the driver say go the other way and look for something better?

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on tumblr a few days ago and I've decided that I'm gonna put it on here as well.  
> This is a very self indulgent fic, what Willie is feeling here is heavily inspired by my experience with chronic pain and I did write parts of it in the middle of a harsh flare up so be warned
> 
> Warnings: Description of a car accident and the effects of codeine
> 
> Take care and I hope you like this  
> -Kari (@ghostiesblog on tumblr)

It was the cold of a rare winter day, biting into his skin. It was the hard stare that Caleb sent across the room whenever he was doing his job, sending his heart up into his throat. It was the regret, twisting his stomach.

At least it was not the regret that Caleb wanted him to feel.

Willie was supposed to regret sneaking away, regret chasing after Alex, regret telling the band everything he knew and betraying the only home he’d known since-

Instead, all Willie regretted was unknowingly playing right into Caleb’s hands, even trusting the charismatic guy with a swaying cape and the captivating hand gestures of someone who lived and died to build a performance on lies in the first place, trusting him enough to expect him to play fair to ever give without taking, taking, taking.

Taking souls.

Willie regretted not seeing sooner what was happening. Not realizing what he’d gotten himself and what he was dragging his new friends into.

He did not regret any of the things he’s done to remedy his actions. Even now, when he was feeling like he was dying all over again. When he was laying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling

Well, staring was really saying too much since all he could see was whitened out patches on blurry on blurry on blurry. 

Like awful black goo, the pain was spreading from his head down his neck, into his hands, his chest, his hipbone. 

It felt like, if he looked down, Willie would see dark red dripping from his fingers, leaking from his ears and building up in his eyes, clouding his vision like the pain was. His muscles sometimes twitched, almost as if there were tiny electric shocks attacking his nerves, challenging his reflexes (the reflexes that didn’t save him all those years ago). 

Like a burn mark, Willie could still feel the imprint of the impact that took him out, sent him straight into Caleb’s net with the taste of the bitter hot concrete still lingering on his tongue. 

Willie’s life had ended with a loud crash and a yell, though he wasn’t sure who it was that had shouted when he shot out into the street, the wind in his hair and a laugh bubbling in his chest that got stuck when the truck he didn’t register in time rammed into his side. 

For a moment, he had felt nothing. Then the pain came rushing in, stabbing and burning, whitening out every other sensation he possibly could have. Since then, he hadn’t been without it.  
The pain stuck around when Willie felt himself float away from the broken form on the pavement, when he was swallowed by black and spit out again on Sunset Boulevard. 

The pain had been his only companion when he realized that no one saw him or heard him anymore, when the first lifer had passed through him and in the days (or weeks? months?) he had spent stumbling around disoriented, when he found that he could will his skateboard into existence as easy as nothing else was anymore, when he rolled through the streets that he used to frequent with his friends, it was always there, like a constant distress signal in the back of his mind.

The first time the pain dulled had been when the mysterious guy with the top hat, who he had vague memory of seeing in a magazine of his mom’s, stepped into his path and put a gentle hand on his cheek. 

Caleb had introduced himself and told him about others like him, about a community, a place to stay if he’d only join him. Willie had been so drunk on the relief that he didn’t even ask what he was giving up in return.

He remembered the day he broke his arm for the first time. He recently learned to skate and was itching to try what the cool kids at the skate park were doing. He was reckless, as always, something that his mother had scolded him about when he trudged back home, kicking his board in front of him and holding tightly onto his throbbing right forearm. 

They went to the hospital and when tears had started leaking out of the corners of Willie’s eyes, his mom kissed his forehead and called him brave and strong. His arm was put in a cast and they gave him painkillers to help with falling asleep.

The codeine in the paracetamol had made him feel drowsy, like his head was filled with cotton and the world was far away. That was the way Caleb made him feel when he took away some of the pain.

During his time at the club Willie was taught and worked. Caleb doled out his comforting, dulling touch freely during this time, with a heavy hand on the shoulder, a pat on the cheek, a straightening of the collar of his uniform.

After a while he even earned the privilege of skating freely around the streets of Hollywood. At this point, he was too numbed out to remember that he didn’t need anyone’s permission for that before. Before.

A rustle next to him made Willie start and he had the urge to push away, to scream, to hide how awful and rotten he was, until a heavenly cool hand slipped into his and held on tight, the first pleasant sensation he felt in what feels like eternity.

Alex.

“Hi”, he said in a low voice and Willie was thankful that Alex knew not to whisper, the sound too sharp for his sensitive ears during his episodes. He curled his fingers in response. A soft kiss to his temple felt like a relief, some of the tension leaving his face.

Willie had never been looking for perfect. His mom had loved him, endlessly but she had told him early on that the world wouldn’t be kind. Back in his day, the way he looked was enough to catch some bad attention.

He was determined to make the best of it. He skated without abandon, always a laugh and a whoop ready to burst out of him. He screamed, when it became too much. He screamed a lot, danced his heart out and broke into celebrities’ mansions despite it all.

Knowing Alex and breaking away from Caleb made his world brighter again. More real, more present. The pain too, with all of its ebbs and flows.

Willie turned his face towards where he knew Alex was without opening his eyes. He felt his boyfriend shift closer and then his hand, combing gently through Willies hair, soothing some of the fire that he felt in his body.

When he drifted away into sleep, he knew it would be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo-  
> I'm sorry?  
> I'm still a bit unsure what to think of this fic, I was debating if I actually wanted to post it on here but what the heck, why not.  
> Talk to me in the comments! (Please, it makes me very happy)   
> And I hope that this maybe brought some comfort to some of you as well. You can find me on tumblr @ghostiesblog, my inbox is always open. Be kind to yourselves, and your souls and I hope if an evil magician has stolen yours and is controlling and manipulating you that you'll crash into your Alex very soon who will follow you no matter what <3  
> Much love!


End file.
